Where I am as I start this blog

As I said before, this is the first thing I've done purely for myself. And at this point in the process, I realized that I have never wanted anything quite as much, quite so passionately, and with quite as much invested emotion, as I want to get into this International MBA program at ESADE. How did I get here?

I looked at all the top European MBA schools: INSEAD, HEC Paris, LBS, SDA Bocconi, IMD, IE. None of them had what I wanted - an intimate, general management focused program, in a big city with diverse opportunities. Some schools programs were too long, others were just far too intimidating in their purpose statements, others still were in some remote village outside of the city - not the same thing. In short, none of them were the right fit. IE was on my list at first - I then realized, its great for an entrepreneur gearing up to start their own business after graduation. I am not that person, I am not the idea woman, and they're not going to teach me to be that, no matter how great their program is. I need more structure and guidance. I finally settled on IESE and ESADE.

Initially, I figured I should apply to some US schools in case I don't get in. After poring over an even MORE exhaustive list of programs, I picked Darden School of Business in VA and Georgia Tech. Nothing else appealed to me!

The more I read, the more I learned, the more information fairs I attended, the more I realized that I didn't want to waste time and money applying to schools I "kinda" wanted to go to. I didn't NEED an MBA, what I needed was to get what I wanted - my international MBA experience abroad. It was Europe or bust...for now at least.

As I start this blog, I'm in a period of extreme anxiety. I've submitted my applications to IESE & ESADE, and both schools have invited me to interview. My interview with ESADE is on Monday, January 25th in Barcelona. I'm less nervous about the interview itself and more nervous about the mini case study they will ask me to do. The interviewer did not indicate that there would be a case study, but my over-researching has lead me to believe that I need to be prepared. The day after my interview I will fly to NYC and on January 29th I will interview with the IESE Director of Admissions. Then on January 31st I have an Assessment Day, where I will be competing with all the other candidates selected in a series of presentations and workshops. This I think will be THE most difficult part of the entire process. I don't know how I will hold my own in a room full of Type As fighting tooth and nail for the spotlight.

Why?

I've been relatively successful in life so far. I've gotten pretty decent grades, went to a pretty good school for undergrad (UCLA) , got a decent job offer for a pretty good company (Capgemini) straight out of school, and have done moderately well in my career (promotion to Sr. Consultant at the 2.5 year mark, 12% increase in salary from start date). Overall, I've done pretty well for myself and in the eyes of the majority of people, I am a relative success.

Yet, each of those achievements, without fail, have been to appease the people in my life. I did what I was "supposed" to do to make others in my life (re: parents) satisfied and ultimately, off my case. Only at age 23, living on my own and completely financially independent of my parents, was I able to finally asses what my priorities were, what was important to me, and, ultimately, what I wanted.

For two years, I coasted in this bliss of financially independent bliss, enjoying my substantial disposable income and lack of any taxing responsibilities to anyone besides myself. By 25, I realized it was time to take the next step in my life and the only person I had to reconcile this plan was with myself.

This next step became abundantly clear. I wanted to change my career, get out of the IT world, and out of So Cal. To do that, I'm going to pursue my MBA. Furthermore, Im going to do it in Europe.