Living the dream

As I was riding my bike home last night from my accounting study session, it really hit me that I was living out my dream of sorts. Here I am, in an amazing, vibrant, culturally rich European city. A metropolitan hub, like I've always wanted - and I'm riding my bike through it at 1am, and still actually feel safe. I felt accomplished, as after spending 3 hours working with a Canadian guy, a Polish guy, and a Japanese girl, I felt like the "grape juice of accounting" had started the "fermentation process" in my brain for the first time in the two weeks that I've been struggling with it. My short bike ride would take me home to my amazing 4th floor apartment where I would gossip with my roommates for a while before going to bed. We'd bitch about having to wake up merely 5 hours later, but I think its all absolutely fantastic.

I have a purpose, and I'm moving forward, even though I'm not entirely sure of the direction. I am completely and utterly overwhelmed in school. Our schedules are insane, and I am lost in at least half of my classes.

Doing 2-3 cases every day and thinking in terms I've never thought in before is really hard, and I feel stupid half the time, but its also incredible. I finally feel my brain WORKING and I'm confronted, even ACCOSTED, by something new every day. My understanding of the world is expanding in a way I can't quite quantify or identify yet, but I can absolutely feel it happening. Things are making sense and falling into place, slowly of course, but I find it all very exciting.

I'm sure if I re-read this in 6 weeks or so when I'm beyond stressed out and all the novelty has worn off I'll roll my eyes at my naivete, but that's precisely why I'm writing - to capture this feeling of "OMG this is IT, THIS is why I dropped my life and came here."

My life here right now really is everything I've always wanted. Barcelona is amazing. School is great. Though I haven't tapped all or really any of them yet, I know I will have great opportunities, if I get my ass in gear and start working towards them, so I know I'm not just here on a prolonged vacation (despite the constant and rambunctious partying, I do remember that I am here for more than that). My roomates are fantastic, and we're having a great time together:

Everyone, well almost everyone, I meet at school is really interesting. The majority of them are really smart, and it feels great to be surrounded by people that actually challenge and interest me. Don't get me wrong, there's the fair share of idiots and annoying douchebags, as you'll find everywhere, but, unlike in other places, I'm not forced to hang out with them for prolonged periods. I actually have the option of surrounding myself with people I genuinely like and, so far, they actually seem to like me to!!! (Hope that lasts!)

Not to say that life is absolutely perfect. Of course its not. School is overwhelming, and despite how much I'm learning, I'm stressed that I wont get passing grades. I'm gaining weight at an alarming rate - bocadillos de jamon con queso will do that you, and even if I wanted to cook healthy, PAM (or any other form of cooking spray) doesn't exist in this country. About the only Spanish I speak is when I'm ordering the food that is making me fat. Despite the large number (20%) of Spanish speaking students in our class, I don't speak Spanish to anyone at any point, because the common language is English and they all speak it fluently. Of course they don't want to sit there and wait for me to stumble through my pluscuamperfecto constructions. I have yet to meet my tall dark and handsome Spaniard - or anyone meaningfully tall, dark, and handsome for that matter. I think my French love story is the only one I get in Europe in this lifetime. Luckily though, finally, these things aren't stopping me from enjoying all the other things I've got going for me here.

I thought I'd be more home sick, and maybe, once again, once the routine sets in, I'll get more homesick. Of course I miss my friends, but I feel really good about the friends I've made here - especially Alexa, my blessing of a roommate:

So, after a month of not writing, this is my checking in that life is great. Now, off to finish Capital Markets reading for tomorrow, and crossing my fingers that I can get a copy of the FT before class so that our crazy (but really, brilliant) professor doesn't call on me and humiliate me and kick me out of class - as he is prone to do to people who don't answer adequately. Ohhh IESE - and tomorrow I have a lecture on the Opus Dei nature of our school to look forward to. Woohoo?